Lately I have been thinking about stuff. Sometimes you do things no one else can understand and it seems like its just a jumbled mess. I recently broke up with the guy I'd been dating off and on for almost 3 years. It wasn't easy, that never is, you grow to love someone and grow to get so acustomed to the things they do, things they say, the way they act. You grow so acustomed to everything, they way you act together, the way you talk when you're alone. It's hard to explain, but if you have ever been in such a relationship, you understand. Everyone has kept asking me "is it this is it that?" I wasn't happy in that relationship, I feel it had been over for me for a little while before the actual breakup. I'd been trying to gather my  nerve to tell him how I had felt, why I had felt that way. And in just one short  hour things seem to shift so massively, it involves so many people. That's how my breakup came about, things shifted to where I crossed that thin line that was keeping my sanity in the relationship. I wanted it to work out, but it didn't, those things happen. I keep getting ask "is there someone else", no one else at the time, I was not happy, didn't look at him the same, didn't love nor trust him the same. Today I told him to move on, to meet other people. I meant that. I don't want him hanging on to something that may not be there any more. I love him, yes, he is my friend, but I'm just not in love anymore. We've drifted too far apart to try to salvage the relationship, I don't want to eitiher. So when you think someone has made a weird, f'd up decision, maybe they have their reasons. Dont' question it, just go along.